Is this The End of Us

Now the hardest part of loving you begin.
when I have to let you go, and when I have to say goodbye.
I don't know whether or not I can forget you.
we're too separate with our differences in thinking.
I believe, but you doubt. and when you believe, I begin to doubt.
but can we just forget each other as soon as it?
when I decided to go, when we're really apart,
just like strangers and we pretend like nothing happened between us,
can we? will you just go on without knowing how hurt I am? will you laugh while I'm crying?
my heart tell me that you won't. but my heart could be tell a lie.
even though I really don't wanna let my self away from you.
become a stranger for you, knowing nothing about you.
I don't wanna let my heart break. but you just broke it.
you know, everything is gonna be fine if you hold me.
saying that you need me, saying that you can't let me go.
I'm surrounded by the memories. I can't instantly over you.
I hope you know. that you find my weakness.
it's when I have to leave you, when you say a word "END" and when my fucking soul say "YES"..
I accept what you want, I can't help it.

Bicara Tentang "Mereka"

Guys! pernah punya sesuatu yang menurut kalian berarti? dan kalian ngga pernah ngebayangin betapa sedihnya kalian saat kehilangannya?? Apa? siapa? dan bagaimana kalian merasa bahwa mereka sangat berharga? aku punya. mungkin sebagian besar dari kalian juga merasa hal yang satu ini berharga. atau mungkin merupakan hal yang biasa-biasa aja? atau malah ngerasa muak denger kata yang satu ini? maklum lah, gak semua orang ngerasain indahnya memilikinya. tapi, buat ku pribadi mereka adalah hal biasa-biasa aja yang punya efek luar biasa di hidup aku. Mereka itu bisa aja ya ngerubah suasana haru biru jadi keceriaan yang memang cuma mereka yang bisa ciptain. mereka itu datengnya sesuka mereka, kadang ngobrak-ngabrik suasana yang lagi galau misalnya, jadi suasana yang ngabisin tenaga banyak untuk ketawa. mereka itu apa ya? ya tempat mengadu, tabungan simpan pinjam, boneka panda, sapu tangan, plus musuh bebuyutan. kenapa? karena mereka tempat aku buang semua penat, pikiran, juga tempat ngomong ngalor-ngidul. toh didengerin aja sama mereka. good listener banget deh. udah gitu kalo keuangan lagi tipis kronis krisis siapa lagi tempat yang aman buat tarik tunai selain mereka? dan kalo otak lagi panas-panasnya, bete, butuh hiburan, liat aja tingkah mereka, dijamin ngakak terkencing-kencing, apalagi kalo mereka berusaha ngehibur tapi ngga lucu, aduhh itu lucu bangetttttt wkwkwkkwkwk ^_^. nah terus ini nih yang paling penting, saat kalian butuh tempat buat ngeluarin air mata, dan nangis sekenceng-kencengnnya mereka dijamin ngga akan tutup kuping dan pasti bersedia minjemin T-shirtnya buat ngusap air mata kita. karena setiap air mata kita, merupakan air mata mereka juga, #eeaaa >_< tapi jangan salah lho ya, kadang mereka itu bisa jadi orang yang paling nyebelin dan ngajak ribut bangetttt, haha, maklumlah.. manusia juga...

tapi apapun mereka, bagaimanapun mereka, dan seperti apa mereka mengisi kehidupan ku, aku tetep ngga bisa pungkiri bahwa mereka itu sesuatu yang berarti. saat aku bersama mereka, entah darimana, kebahagiaan itu datang...

udah kebayang belum apa yang lagi aku omongin? hayoooo coba ditebak. dan pikirin deh, apa kalian udah punya yang semacam itu?? dewa kah mereka? peri kah? semut? kucing? atau angin? hahaha ^0^ salah semua ah...

mereka itu ya mereka, kita nggak perlu tahu apa dan siapa mereka itu. cuma perlu memaknai mereka sebagai bagian dari hidup kita yang singkat <3

You should to know

tonight I'm crying without knowing the reason.
why do I cry? why does my heart always want to meet you.
you said that you love me?I was trully happy. but you did nothing.
you didn't try to hold me, chase me, or beg me to stay.
I've been waiting you speak until now. until I couldn't waiting anymore.
such a waste, I guess. everything that you feel will ends with sadness and sorrows.
so hard to take a breath when I was thinking of you.
are you feel the same? is it me in your mind when you think about someone special?
is it me when you want a shoulder while crying?
is it me the one who can makes you smile just like a little baby? I wanna be your everything.
I wanna be your tears, your smile, your anger, your jealousy.
but, seeing that you're always okay without me, it burns me down.
I guess, I can't standing anymore. I can't tell you why.
why does my love for you never disappeared. when will I stop this pain?
why does it feels like there's a big big wall between us whereas it is not?
you've made it complicated than before. and now, I don't know what to do, what to say, what to feel.
it's eternally as a blur picture.

Sesuatu yang tak dapat ku mengerti

Aisyah, kau biarkan lelah waktumu menghabisi setiamu menunggu.
menyisakan yang terkadang tak dapat kau jelaskan..
entah apa yang kau rasa, tanganmu terus saja menengadah haru..
mengharap harapan yang kelabu untuk sekedar kau dengar...
mungkin saja kelak kan kau genggam..
namun kemustahilan lebih dulu menyapa dan mengecilkan nuranimu..
lepas....
dan semua bagaikan secarik kertas tipis terombang-ambing angin sore..
kapan dan dimana kau merebah, kau pun tak kuasa memutuskan..
hanya mengandalkan putih dan sucimu yang jarang, tak kan pernah cukup...
kau butuh kekuatan, keberanian, keteguhan, dan sedikit kebohongan..
tak kan pernah salah Tuhan menciptakan itu semua..
kau pantas memilikinya..
agar tidak lemah perangaimu ! agar tidak mudah kau dicampakkan !
agar kau mengerti bahwa itu semua merupakan kebutuhan....
bukan hanya mengandalkan cinta, sayang, belas dan kasih.
kau tak kan mampu bertahan dengan itu..
tapi terlalu memunafikan semua itu, dirimu...
hingga saat kau jatuh terpuruk dan hancur,
hanyalah haru dan pilu yang mengiringinya...
tiada tunduk itu, tak ada satu tanganpun yang bersedia menahanmu...
kau terlalu naif dengan senyum kekanak-kanakanmu....
yang kadang kau pun tak mampu untuk membuangnya..
kau.... terlampau tak dapat mengertinya.......

Make it sure

why do you make everything so complicated? what I'm waiting for is not only you, not only to hear you speak, I obviously have many problems that need to be fixed, would you please just forget that there's a space between us? that's the problem that makes me perfectly frustrated. can't you treat me just the way I am? we are unhappy with this situation, right? why don't we make it easier? the relationship among us isn't comfort us nor enjoy,, we need a voice, from the deepest our hearts.. just speak and tell anything you can tell. I won't ignore if there is a complaint. I will be better, or I will be anything you want. the very first thing is that I'm in love with you. there's nowhere to hide love. can't you see? can't you feel? if it's so, just hear me when I say "I do love you" please tell me, everything that you feel. do you think I'm bad? or good? what are you waiting for? is it me? or anyone else? I beg of you, please don't make me confused, I'm frustrated enough. if you love me, just say and stay with me. if you don't,  just leave me behind. I won't chasing you.. because to be happy, we need a decision. choose black or white. will never be "grey". and to be sure, we need a word, yes or not, will never be "maybe".