Selasa, 19 April 2011

Tragic



I wish I could see what you see. I wish I could look at myself through your eyes, even if just for a moment. I want to know what is the big deal. What sparks the jealousy, the envy and the betrayal. Whats the reasoning behind the madness which is my life and where did it all go wrong.
You see a pretty girl with a bright future but the truth is, I am empty. Nothing lies in me, other than memories, thoughts and ideas. Hopes for a better day and faith that it will all be okay. A broken heart far from repair and a soul that is toutured. There is no glitter and there is no love. Inside lies the truth of who I am, underneath it all. I am nothing, I am no one.

You might see me smile and laugh, I'll even tell you that everything is okay. Its all a lie. In my brain the colors flash, pink for happiness and red for pain; blue for loneliness and yellow for hope; green for confusion and brown for depression; purple for the tears and orange for the memories. Nothing last forever, not even hope. Its dead. Dead like I wish somedays I could be.

The colors flash and there is such a mess inside. I don't know where to start or how to finish. Most of the time my randomness is a front. I am not funny, I am sad. I am not beautiful, I am depressed. I am not social, I am lonely. You see me and I see you, but truly you see who I appear to be.

But if this is true, who am I? What am I doing and why must I continue to pretend? I am compeltely alone, even in a room full of people I am alone. Lonely. Depressed. Scared.

My world, is a sad one. But its not all black. There is a light that shines daily. A light of hope. I want to live and I want to love but I don't know how. I want to get rid of the negative but maybe I'm doomed.

I am tragic. I am gone.

Love me for who you see because before you know it, it'll all be over.

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